"Push" Is a Case Study in the Art of Deceptive Advertising

5/10

The advertising for this film made it seem like a blockbuster action movie. I think some of the TV spots actually called it "the first real action movie of the year." Hardly the case. For example, look at the poster for this movie. We see someone, presumably Chris Evans, displaying some impressive telekinetic abilities, throwing people, cars, and automatic weapons around like it's his job. Switch to the actual movie: Chris Evans has limited telekinetic powers and struggles to move anything around.

The main illustration of the fraudulent advertising is simply the total amount of action in the movie. There really isn't that much. The climax is an action scene, of course. Even these disingenuous jokers couldn't get away with a climax that lacked some flashy telekinesis. But other than that, there's a whole lot of talking, most of it boring and expository. Which is a shame, really, because the premise for this movie is really quite interesting. It's the execution that falls flat.

My interest in the premise brings me to what was good about this movie. Dakota Fanning shows that she will likely be a solid actress for many years to come. She is by far the most convincing actor in this movie, which is kind of sad when you think about it. Setting the movie in Hong Kong resulted in some nice aerial shots. Lastly, as I stated, the idea of all the different powers was interesting. The pushers, who can invade and influence another person's thoughts. The watchers, who can see some trajectories of future events. The sniffers, who are like juiced up hunting dogs. The bleeders were probably the hokiest of the bunch, with the SUPERSONIC SCREAM THAT MAKES YOUR EARS BLEED!! gimmick. It didn't help that the bleeder characters were written as cardboard, one-dimensional thugs.

This movie ultimately serves to illustrate Dakota Fanning's versatility and potential longevity as an actress. It does little else.

Friday the 13th - Don't Poach Jason's Pot Plants

4/10

Long story short, this movie brings nothing new to the table. It's the same old hour and a half of slasher movie cliches. A couple of rude dudes, stoners, couples who care about nothing but innuendo and consummation, and of course the black guy and the Asian guy bite it.

This movie plays more like an homage to the first three movies than an actual reboot. You get the sackhead version of Jason, a couple of glimpses at his Sloth from the Goonies visage, and of course the Detroit Red Wings hockey mask version of Jason. He carries around his trademark machete like a drunk carries around his Thunderbird. And he loves his decapitated mother more than ever in this one.

A few funny things did come out of this movie. Apparently if you are a chick with red hair, Jason will become disoriented and confuse you with his mom. And he won't kill you; he'll just keep you as a prisoner. Also, if he's about to cut your head off and you say his name, he'll pause and cock his head like a puppy dog. This movie is pretty derivative and boring, but it can be made much more fun if you simply imagine that Jason is the one growing the marijuana near Camp Crystal Lake and that he will go to murderous lengths to protect his crop. Other than that, this movie has little entertainment value since the acting is third-rate and the story is as stale as twenty year old bread.

One last interesting tidbit: the alpha male douchebag character, Trent, is played by the same actor as the "Trent" character from Michael Bay's "Transformers." Given Michael Bay's penchant for the inane and the fact that he produced this installment of Friday the 13th, I doubt this is coincidence.