No Beckinsale? No Problem!

7/10

***DISCLAIMER*** This review comes from a fan of the previous movies; if you don't like those, please disregard this review.

From the trailers, I expected a movie totally dependent on CGI and more gimmicky monsters, even moreso than "Underworld: Evolution." I was also concerned that the lack of Beckinsale would somehow make this movie less interesting. I miscalculated. In my mind, this is the best movie of the three.

This movie made me accept the fact that Beckinsale, while insanely attractive, is not a very good actress. It also made me realize that the obligatory focus she received in the previous movies really detracted from the overall story.

"Rise of the Lycans" greatly improves on the blue monster mess that was the second movie. In that movie, you were basically watching Blue Beast vs. Blue Bat with Shiny Leather Selene in the middle. Throw in some half-assed Corvinus backstory and you're done. In this movie there are no lame hybrid blue monsters. Even better, the leads are the two strongest actors from the first movie, Michael Sheen and Bill Nighy. It is their performances which raise this movie above the other two. Viktor is easily at his cold and ruthless peak. Lucian, now that he has some screen time, is a far more sympathetic and interesting character than Selene or Michael ever thought about being.

Be warned, there is a lot of lopping of limbs and heads, as well as slit throats, in this movie. But if you liked Underworld but thought Evolution was something of a letdown, you should find Rise of the Lycans a welcome return to form for the Underworld franchise.

Let's Wind the Clocks Back - "Being There"

10/10

I pimp this movie at every opportunity. It amazes me how obscure it has become. I would never have heard of it except a professor of mine showed it in class one week. I was mesmerized. You can put this movie in the same category as Benjamin Button and Forrest Gump. I don't exactly know what that category is, but if you watch this movie, you'll understand.

Peter Sellers owns this movie, without a doubt. His performance captures your attention from the jump and keeps that stranglehold throughout. Sellers plays an enigmatic savant who unwittingly says all the right things at all the right times. Now you may be thinking, "This sounds like a snoozer. Another sappy simpleton movie." You will probably be surprised to know that "Being There" is a comedy and quite a hilarious one. Sellers plays it deadpan, but the events of the movie are so absurd that one cannot help but laugh.

The supporting cast is excellent as well. Most of the supporting characters are hyper-successful. Even the President of the United States makes an appearance. Then there is the man with whom Chance stays for most of the movie; he is a rich business man who is battling a severe illness. So you have all these rich and powerful people who seem to have everything and then you have the simpleton Chance, who has nothing. But you are left wondering who has things more figured out. The richies clearly think Chance knows more than they do. Chance, well who knows what he thinks.

With a host of likable characters and a final scene that will throw off your entire perception of the movie, it's little wonder that "I like to watch."

Throwing Things at the Screen - Five Worst of 2008

These are my five worst movies of 2008. To be fair, I avoid watching obvious clunkers if I can. So you won't find Disaster Movie or Meet the Spartans on my list because I will never watch them. What's the point really? Anyway, these are five movies I had the unfortunate displeasure of watching:

5) Twilight

This movie undoubtedly accomplished what the studio wanted - a truckload of cash and a fanbase clamoring for sequels, but as a standalone movie it is not very effective. You get ninety minutes of brooding, tortured expressions and supermarket romance. But at least we got the all-time classic line, "Hold on tight, Spider Monkey."




"Hold on tight, Spider Monkey!"


4) Wanted

A haphazard mess of an action movie with a hyper-annoying lead character and one of the stupidest contraptions in cinematic history, the Loom of Fate! Half the run time was spent showing the "curve the bullet" technique. This movie's most glaring shortcoming was a supporting cast that was merely going through the motions.



"Ugh, why did I sign that contract?"


3) Punisher: War Zone

Wow, this was a miscarriage of a movie. I had a slight hope that this would be a passable action movie since it was supposedly influenced by Ennis's Punisher comics, but that hope died at about the time the tenth person died in this uproarious comedy. This movie is worth a look if only for the deluge of unintentional humor. With some of the least intimidating, most dimwitted villains this side of "Ghost Rider," War Zone probably killed the Punisher franchise for a few decades.

"Time to punish the real criminals,
Lionsgate."


2) The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

Sometimes people want to watch mindless eye candy. But everything about this movie is uninspired and terrible. It is completely derivative. Imagine you have a handwritten drawing by Picasso. You Xerox it. You Xerox it again, and again, and again, and again. Twenty more times. That last copy is going to be of inferior quality and probably pretty faint. Well that last copy is this movie, but on top of the faint image, a line of text has suddenly appeared which reads, "This paper gives you cancer."

"Here we go . . . again?"


1) Max Payne

This was an eggshell of a movie. That it was going to be style over substance was abundantly evident from the trailers. What was not evident from the trailers, however, was how little style this movie would actually display. The trailers hinted at an action movie, but Payne failed to deliver on that as well. This movie suffered from an unengaging plot (how hard is it to screw up the revenge arc?), wooden acting, cardboard characters, and a tired visual style.


"Kill me now."

Benjamin Button - A Visual Symphony

9/10

Simply put, this movie is beautiful to watch. It's so visually stunning that I could put in a pair of earplugs and watch all two hours and forty-six minutes of this movie without the audio. What's more, you could follow the plot from the visuals alone. It's a testament to director David Fincher's impressive skills that this movie can convey so much to the audience solely through its images.

Oh yeah, the rest of the movie was great as well. The acting was top notch. Given the fantastical elements of the story, the actors could have easily been tempted to exaggerate their respective characters to match the larger than life tone of the movie. I'm glad they didn't. I think the contrast between the muted characters and the outlandish premise makes for a much richer movie. Of course, this movie hinges on Brad Pitt, and he doesn't disappoint. He continues to display his versatility as an actor, and he shows that he can more than carry a movie.

This movie makes you run the emotional gauntlet. Triumph and tragedy occur throughout, sometimes intertwined, sometimes not. The strangest part of this movie, and the part that sticks with you the most, is that Benjamin's reverse aging really amplifies the effect of time on our relationships. Watching the characters approach each other, figuratively speaking, from opposite ends of the temporal spectrum, highlights a lot of what we take for granted in those relationships.

Enough mumbo jumbo. This movie is great all around. Don't let the run time or the strange premise scare you. Movies like this rarely come around.

"Gran Torino" Discards Subtlety but Still Delivers

8/10

In "Gran Torino," Clint Eastwood plays a curmudgeonly Korean War veteran who transitions from a misanthropic racist to a, well, less misanthropic racist. His voice sells it. That voice will make you believe that Walt Kowalski (Eastwood's character) loathes people, even his own children and grandchildren. It will also make you think Clint is a big fan of Christian Bale's Batman. I kept waiting for Kowalski to yell at Thao, "I'M NOT WEARING HOCKEY PADS!!!" But, alas, it never happened.

Gran Torino's plot follows a familiar trajectory, one involving loss, friendship, redemption, and ultimately more loss. But the plot does not define this movie, the characters do. The characters are fleshed out, dynamic, and interesting. I have read some complaints about the lack of acting ability of the Hmong actors and actresses, but they did not detract from my viewing experience. I thought Bee Vang was good as the shy, misguided Thao. By the end of the movie, he has become an eminently likeable, well-intentioned youth. The evolving interactions between Walt and Thao are the highlight of the film. You are almost forced to like Walt more and more as the movie progresses and as his personality transforms in a positive way. This was undoubtedly intentional as it helps to set up the climax of the movie and make it more effective.

What really surprised me in this movie was the humor. I didn't expect Walt to be throwing around racial slurs like it was his job. Some may find that aspect of the film offensive, but I thought it was an effective way to clearly contrast Walt's attitude toward the Hmong at the beginning and end of the film, respectively. There is also a humorous tension in this movie with respect to the role of religion. The young, fresh-faced Catholic priest and Walt could hardly be more different in appearance, personality, and in their attitude toward religion. And this makes for some funny exchanges.

With great characters and an impressive mix of humor and tragedy, Gran Torino is another solid addition to Eastwood's already legendary career.

Review of "Valkyrie"

3/10

It must be hard to inject suspense into a movie in which the final outcome is known before the previews even begin. That difficulty, more than anything else, comes through in this film.

Sadly, this "best suspense thriller of the year" was incredibly boring. There were too many characters, all of whom were woefully underdeveloped and one-dimensional. Obviously, one can't provide a back story for every character in a two hour movie, but this movie still needed two or three multifaceted, developed characters. At some point, the filmmakers have to make some choices with regard to focus and scope. This movie felt as though no choices were ever made with regard to focus. All the characters are developed equally, which in this case is not at all. The worst example of this comes in the form of Kenneth Branagh's character, Henning von Tresckow. He is a central character during the first act, but he is soon shipped to the front lines, never to be seen again, except for a brief glimpse at the end of the film during which we see him looking forlorn. But by that point he has ceased to matter to the audience. Most of the secondary characters came across as ineffectual wet blankets, probably as an easy way to highlight the fortitude of Cruise's character.

Something about this movie keeps it from flowing very well. A lot of it seems like random scenes pieced together without any overall narrative vision. The worst part is that this movie concerns a very engaging and emotional historical episode, yet it's an incredibly "by-the-numbers" effort. Some reviews describe it as "clinical" and "procedural," and that's fairly accurate. It plods and stumbles its way to a climax everyone knows is coming, but when it gets there, there is no increase in suspense. Instead, the characters just become even more pathetic as they act like little children trying to blame one another for the lack of coordination in their assassination plot.

This was a sub-par effort considering the director and the great actors involved. Most of them seemed like they phoned it in. It was humorous to see the tone of the advertisements transition from "great suspense thriller" to "entertainment juggernaut." Of course, this movie is neither, but at least the commercials showed the one explosion in the film to bolster their action packed claims.